For about a month leading up to Theo's birth I was experiencing prodromal labor, which is your body's way of getting ready for the real deal. I didn't experience it with Penelope in the degree that I did with Theo, so it was new and annoying. I had braxton hicks with Penelope, but they were never consistent. With Theo I would have them every 5 minutes which then would increase to every 2 minutes and they would last for 1-1.5 minutes and would go on for hours. Sounds like labor right? But they never hurt like real contractions, they were just uncomfortable little pesters. I was still sure I would be late, but worried I would go to into full blown labor and end up having him in our apartment or car. I was unreasonably stressed out. Around 38 weeks I actually called my midwife -mostly because my mom, Doula, and Nathan made me- and almost went in to the birth center to get checked. A few weeks prior, I was told I may not know if I was in true labor because last time I had pitocin induced contractions, which tend to be harder and more painful. All in all, the last few weeks of my pregnancy was spent on edge; either I was sure I would have Theo on the side of the road or I would show up and be the 2 cm dilated I had been for a weeks, get laughed at, and sent home. Fortunately Theo's birth wasn't that traumatizing.
Theo's due date was November 8th, so I was sure he would arrive no earlier then the week of the 15th. To my surprise, I woke up the morning after his due date in the wee hours of the 9th at 3:30am with my first painful contraction! They started coming every 10-ish minutes after that and continued through the morning. I didn't think too much of it, the contractions were pretty far apart, so I tried to sleep through them. Unfortunately, the little sleep I did get was lacking. I still stayed in bed fairly late because it was a Sunday and I was going to soak up as much bed time as I could get. I waited to tell Nathan about the contractions until around 10am, I was weary and didn't want to jinx them. Well, I totally did and the contractions went from coming every 10 minutes to only coming every 20 minutes. DISASTER! I was bummed, but figured the pain of the contractions was a good sign and I was bound to go into labor sooner rather then later. We decided to skip church, just in case things started to pick up; though, I was pretty pessimistic and continued to tell Nathan and myself there is no way he's coming today. I called my mom and told her that she should probably be on stand by. She thought she should get in the car and drive the 6 hours from Arizona asap, but silly me told her to wait and we will reassess in the morning.
The rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful. I stopped timing the contractions, but estimated that they were coming every 20-30 minutes. The pain was enough that I had to pay attention to them, but not enough to stop me in my tracks. We spent both of Penelope's naps watching episodes of Friends and relaxing. I remember taking a long bath at some point - baths were my jam and the end of my pregnancy with Theo - and continued to take my time getting ready. My contractions started picking up again around 2pm. They were coming every 10 minutes for an hour, which then increased to every 5 minutes. The pain was getting more severe, yet I was still in denial that Theo was on his way. Nathan even baked us an apple pie that we had in the freezer and I seriously thought we would be enjoying it after putting Penelope down for the night. It was about 4pm when I started officially timing my contractions on an app and I noticed they were coming every 5 minutes and lasting 1-1.5 minutes. Looking back, I'm a crazy person! I was told my rule of thumb was 5-1-1, which means if I am having painful contractions every 5 minutes that are lasting 1 minute each and this goes on for 1 hour then it is go-time. That was happening, yet I was calm as could be and felt no rush to get out the door or even pack our bags. I did, however, call my mom and let her know what was happening. She decided to leave for California first thing in the morning, only after expressing how she knew she should have left earlier that afternoon. My bad!
After that, we began cleaning like crazy people. We deep cleaned the bathrooms, kitchen, did laundry, vacuumed, etc. It was around this time that I was really forced to focus and breathe through each contraction. I would be in the middle of scrubbing the oven when a contraction would hit and have to lean on the oven, rock back and forth, and let out the "labor moan." - I'm convinced all women make this uncontrollable and unattractive noise, I can't be the only one! - If I wasn't near something that I could lean on, I would get on my hands and knees and get through them that way. After each contraction was over, I would continue on the cleaning spree. I can't explain how much better of an experience it was for me to labor at home verses laboring entirely stuck to a hospital bed, hooked to monitors and an i.v. Not only that, but I was distracted between each contraction. I wasn't focused on the clock above me trying to mentally prepare for the next contraction and hoping and praying my next one would be my last one. Around 6:30pm, my contractions started coming every 2-3 minutes and I was finally convinced that this was the real-deal. It was around this time that Nathan put Penelope to sleep. I clearly remember her sweet little face while she waved 'nigh nigh' and then getting so overwhelmingly emotional about her being a big sister so early, how she will always be my teeny baby girl, and wanting to remember her exactly how she was at the moment... and then another contraction hit. After Penelope was asleep in her crib, Nathan took it upon himself to text my doula, who responded with "Let's rock this! Page the midwife." We called the midwife and collectively decided that we should meet at the birth center asap.
We woke Penelope up after an hour of sleep -poor girl - and headed out the door around 7:45, with the untouched pie on the stove. But don't worry, that pie ended up serving as my birthday cake just 2 days later. We dropped Penelope off at a friends from our ward, who are so kind, and made me feel much better about leaving her for the night. I waddled out of the car in between contractions to say goodbye to my only child for the last time and she seriously couldn't care less. I'm positive she was staring at their dog the whole time I was saying goodbye, and I was practically in tears. My sweet Penny and her desire to escape her parents on the regular. We got out of there pretty quickly because the contractions were coming hard and fast at this point. Thank goodness for it being a trafficless Sunday night, because laboring in the car is the worst. Again, being able to labor in whatever position feels most "comfortable" or eases the pain even somewhat is so vital to getting through an unmedicated birth without completely going insane. So, being stuck in a car is all kinds of horrible. We then called our families and let them know we were on our way to the birth center. I remember being on the phone with my sister at exactly 8:33pm, pulling into the parking lot and being so glad to get out of the car.
As soon as we got in the birth room I got on my knees and labored leaning against the bed through a few contractions. My birth team was immediately by my side with my doula, Kim, putting pressure on my back, my midwives, Pam and Lorri, quietly asking questions, and Nathan holding my hand. The lights were dim, the tub was filling up and I remember being so relieved to be there. Lorri checked me around 9pm and I was 6-7cm dilated! I didn't have any expectations of how far dilated I would be, but I was so happy to be there. I remember Nathan being especially excited, he kept saying, "that's amazing babe, you're so close, I can't believe it!" After being checked, I stayed on the bed and labored in the fetal position. I was so tired. I kept saying that I just wanted to sleep during each contraction, and I'm pretty positive I actually did sleep in-between them. It was such a crazy-surreal feeling being in and out of sleep, being totally out of it to waking up in agonizing pain. I labored like that for about 20 minutes and then somehow made my way in the tub; though, I realized pretty soon that I did not want to be in there.
I hit transition at that point and felt insanely uncomfortable just floating there, not able to get a grip on anything. I tried a few positions in the tub at the suggestions of Kim. Nathan was in there while I was leaning on him for support, but nothing was feeling right and I really just wanted out. I went to the bathroom a few times during transition and walking the 10 feet to the toilet was excruciating, but I knew emptying my bladder would ease the contraction pain. When getting out of the tub, I asked if I could just pee in there because I didn't want to make the extra few steps to the toilet. I had no shame. Once out of the tub, I went straight back to the fetal position in bed. My hips were murdering me; they felt like they were being pulled apart and going to break off my body with each contraction. My doula was amazing and knew exactly where to apply pressure to keep me sane. Even though I was in a severe amount of pain, I never felt out of control or unable to handle it. I never begged for the pain to be over or for the next contraction to be the last one. In fact, I didn't really have a sense of time. I had no idea how long I had been at the birth center nor did I calculate how much time I might have left. I took it one contraction at a time. I kept thinking, my body was made to do this, I can do this, this is good pain, it means I'm going to have my baby soon. I had to think positively. I dealt with the pain of each contraction inwardly (not that I was quiet) rather then looking to others to save me from something that they couldn't. I had no idea before hand that this was how I would or wanted to labor, it just happened. Throughout my pregnancy with Theo, I said many prayers that I would be able to let go of my fear I had built up from Penelope's traumatic birth and I completely attribute Theo's "ideal birth" to those prayers being answered. The power of prayer is real! From the beginning of labor to the very end, I never once feared that I would tear, or hemorrhage, or that my cervix would swell, or that I be in transition for 3+ hours, etc. My mind was free, clear, and in the present. It was amazing!
Before I knew it, I had a slight urge to push. I started doing short, little pathetic pushes to test whether that's really what I was feeling. It didn't feel right, and I was super uncomfortable being in limbo. I either wanted to focus my energy on pushing or getting through the contractions. Lorri checked me and I was, in fact, at a 10 with a bulging bag. Lorri told me that she could break my water which would help me have a stronger urge to push, but that I would also feel more intense contractions if we did. I really wanted my pushing to be productive in order to get that baby out of me asap. I told her to definitely brake my water. Once she broke my water, it was go time. I pushed through two contractions, and the (what seemed to last forever) 'ring of fire,' before he was born. I remember hearing, "here's your baby, grab your baby" as I reached down and pulled him onto my chest. I will never forget that moment. Seeing him for the first time, with his big blue eyes staring up at me, it was the perfect first meeting. Theo Nathaniel Otto was born November 9, 2014 at 10:04 pm, weighing 7lbs 15oz, and 21 inches long.
We stayed at the birth center for 4 more hours. Me and Nathan spent that time loving on Theo, in amazement that we created another perfect baby! I also received a shot of pitocin to prevent hemorrhaging and 1 tiny stitch for 1 tiny tear. It was easy peasy. I was able to shower all by myself, get dressed, walk around, I had an appetite! I couldn't have asked for anything better. Theo and I were perfectly healthy and able to leave as soon as we were ready. We left the birth center around 2am and slept the rest of the night in our own bed. Penelope met her baby brother that afternoon and was so vert sweet, gentle, and curious. Life is good!
